Nº. 3 of  26

TO MY WIFE

THINGS I'LL DO, THINGS I WON'T.
EITHER WAY, YOU'LL BE MINE AND I'LL BE YOURS.

SCENE

I don’t like causing scenes at restaurants…but if I throw down the napkin at the end of dinner and scream, “I’m never answering a Craigslist ad again!” you could play along. Role playing is fun, so is spontaneity.

DISPOSAL

Let’s make a pact to properly dispose of toenails. Gross? Maybe, but hey nobody said this would be easy.

COBBLESTONES

Say you’re wearing your really crazy shoes that hurt your feet and we come across a patch of cobblestones—I’d give you a piggyback ride, hail a cab and ask that we never return to the meatpacking district again.

FYI

I’m making this up as we go along, along this crazy road they call life. I hear it’s a highway and that I would like to ride it all night long.

FINE

I’ll buy those tampons, but I’m not happy about it.

SINGING

I sing and sometimes dance in the shower. If you’re in there with me, please feel free to join in…but just know that it happens.

FRENCH GIRLS

I was an art major. If you asked me to draw you like one of my french girls, I’d get right on that. Afterwards, we could drag out an inevitable story line until one of us drowns in the freezing Atlantic.

SOMETIMES

I ride my horse into the woods and chop wood, fix motorcylces with paperclips, model for paper towel companies and mine diamonds shaped like seahorses. PSYCH no I don’t.

MEMES

Internet memes have no place in the bedroom.

SAFETY FIRST

Always wear seatbelts…that is if we can actually afford a car.

Nº. 3 of  26